The Only Thing That You Have To Fear Is...Yourself

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Whether talking about faith in God, faith in the Universe or faith in yourself, it is FAITH that carries you through. At its most basic, faith begins with believing in yourself.

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Being Bold In 2020 (Out With 2019)

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While they might be right, they might, also, be wrong. So I would rather take a chance and be right than for nothing to happen. I no longer want to be ordinary with few dreams that stretch my boundaries and I hope that you don’t either.

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When The Village (Friends and Family) Comes Together

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I am thankful for the things that I received, as my loved ones worked hard to provide them. However, I am even more thankful to have these loved ones in my life and I suspect that the three people that I mentioned are super thankful to have their loved ones around them, as well. These are the blessings that I celebrate and I hope that you do, too.

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Si Dios Quiere (Waiting On God)

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In my experience, it’s a very Latino thing to hear parents or other family say, “Si Dios quiere.” Roughly translated, it means “if God wishes it.” When I would discuss my goals or plans with my Mom, I think that she thought that I lost some humility because I would hear her say, “Si Dios quiere.”

I get the spirit behind the saying. I am aware that what I have earned are blessings. As easily as they came, they can easily be taken away. In my community and workplace, I have seen reminders of how easily people and things can go away.

I am both Christian and Stoic: two different but complementary viewpoints that discuss how humankind is not the center of all and that there are things beyond our control. For example, on the Stoic side, I was able to find this quote by Epictetus,

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters, so that I can say clearly to myself, which are externals not under my control and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…”

In my first piece, “Hello World,” I referenced the Serenity Prayer, which I think is a good bridge between the two:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”

On the Christian side, I found this passage from 1 Peter 1:24 in the New Testament,

“For, "All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls off..”

Each of these passages talk about how nothing lasts forever and, hopefully, leads the reader towards the humility of realizing that we don’t really has as much control as we think. God forbid, if someone close to us passes away, there’s might not be much notice nor much that we can do. The car that you might “love” could become involved in an accident and be totaled. The company that employed you for decades could go out of business tomorrow.

So, I have spoken about how things last forever. Now to speak about taking action over the things that we do have control.

In his Enchiridion, we again hear from Epictetus,

“We should always be asking ourselves: “Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?”

While some people might think that having lots of choices, I feel that it came often lead to confusion and decision paralysis. Have you ever been to a restaurant with zillions of choices and don’t know what to order? In my opinion, distilling a decision to two or maybe even three options helps make the options clear and speeds up decision making.

In Luke 6:38, we hear about why we should take action,

“For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

I am a firm believer that what you put out into the universe comes out to you. Call it karma or perhaps God’s will. Maybe it’s even how the Universe does things. I believe that we should do what we can, especially when it’s the right thing to do precisely because it’s the right thing to do. I would rather do the right thing, even if it bites me in the ass than to feel guilty for not taking important action when I should have. When I go to bed, I want to sleep in peace.

While the world can be complicated, scary and overwhelming, it doesn’t have to be. Let us focus on what we can do. Let us do the right thing not only because it is but to make things easier for the world around us. Enough bad things happen that we don’t need to contribute to them through doing the wrong thing nor through inaction. I can’t pretend to think that it’s always easy. However, I do feel that it’s a whole lot easier than we think.

DO WHAT YOU CAN. DO WHAT IS RIGHT. IT CAN BE A LOT SIMPLER AND EASIER THAN YOU THINK.

Honoring The Lessons of Poverty

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Awhile back, I was blessed enough to have the opportunity to visit my Mom’s village. During that visit, I was able to see my uncle, who still lives next door to my grandma’s house. It had been awhile, since I last visited, so it was great for my family to see where my mom came from and to be able to picture where I used to run around. It was wonderful to have an in-depth conversation with my tío (uncle).

My uncle has a unique perspective because he spent time working here. While we were talking, he said something fascinating,

“You get these guys that go over, then come back with trucks and all kinds of things. They act like they have money, but they return in debt up (endeudados) to their eyeballs.”

In my opinion, this is the opposite side of the immigrant experience that I admire. The behavior that I admire is the hard-working, grinding work ethic of individuals that take whatever work is necessary to provide for themselves, while being able to send money home to their family and offering no excuses. Coming over here to make a lot of money but pissing it away is not admirable.

This behavior isn’t just exclusive to immigrants. I can think of professional athletes. Instantly, the ESPN documentary, Broke comes to mind. Per the documentary’s website, some of the causes for going broke include freeloaders and showing off. Perhaps they may have never learned proper money management. However, I think that there is also the subconscious insecurity from feeling like they have to show off to compensate for their background and constantly trying to remind the world that may not truly care about their measure of fame that they have achieved. The paradox is that, once the money is gone, not only is the individual painfully reminded of the poverty that they tried to escape but the cold, unfeeling world that they tried to impress is there to observe their downfall.

Awhile back, I saw a really great YouTube video featuring the actor, Denzel Washington. I couldn’t find the video but I remember him saying how there are people that fall into the trap of buying “stuff” to impress people that they don’t really like. When I heard this, I thought to myself, “How sad it is to live a life, where you unknowingly buy ‘stuff’ to try to impress people!” The sad part is that there are a lot of people that live to impress others, while not adequately taking care of themselves but have yet to realize this.

When I think of people that have truly transcended poverty, a few qualities come to mind: focusing on covering important, necessary expenses; putting some money away (whether to send to family, for their own rainy day or to one day open a business); taking whatever job is necessary to provide an income; taking pride in whatever work that they do, and never losing sense of their why. For the people that keep these things in mind, then I feel that there is hope for them.

I remember all of the times that I visited my grandma’s ranchito. She never had a lot but always had something for us and others, though I know that my parents pitched in. The food might not have been fancy, but it was of that soul-nourishing variety that remains imprinted in my psyche. I am motivated not by shame of these origins but by pride in the qualities that these origins instilled in me. Considering that my means are more than anything that my abuelita (grandma) ever had, the best way that I can honor these lessons is to make something out of the cumulative sacrifices of my abuelita and others, who brought me to where I am.

DON’T FORGET. TAKE PRIDE IN AND HONOR YOUR ORIGINS.

I'm Only Getting Started (Turning 40)

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Apologies

I apologize for getting this piece out late. It has been a busy week. Also, I thought that that this piece needed an extraordinary amount of thought. I hope that you can also agree with my delay’s justifiication.

Looking Back

Just over a week ago, I turned 40. I’ll put it out there: no, I didn’t have a mid-life crisis. I think that I didn’t have one because I regularly review my life to see. where I need to implement some change. I have felt that mid-life crises, often, come when individuals finally take a look back only to realize that the life that they are living doesn’t seem theirs. Perhaps other people made decisions for them, only for them to find out that these choices no longer or never fit them. Or some individuals realize how much time has passed and wonder if they are where they really want to be. This self-examination brought on by turning 40, for these people, can expose horribly weighty regrets.

Regrets

Do I have regrets? To quote, Frank Sinatra’s hit “My Way,”

“Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do”

Sure, there are things that I wish that I did differently or didn’t do at all. However, with hindsight being 20/20, I can safely say that these decisions and actions made me into who I am today. Are there things that I wish didn’t take me so long to do? Sure, but notwithstanding, the important thing is that I’m finally doing them. Better late than never, I suppose. I feel that this is what counts.

2019 Free Press 5K

This past weekend, I was able to complete this year’s Free Press 5K. Just six years ago, I completed my first Free Press 5K, after completing a couch-to-5K program. The amazing thing is that this time I had practically no training, unless you count taking the stairs at work at every possible opportunity and hitting my 250 steps/hr. This time around, I’m was around 20-30 lbs lighter than the first time, so I’m pretty sure that this helped.

Last time, I started running too fast, too early towards the end and gassed out. As a result, I walked across the finish line. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t repeat that same mistake and I didn’t. To make sure that this didn’t happen, there were a few things that I did.

First of all, I channeled the spirit of David Goggins. For real. In his book, Can’t Hurt Me, Goggins wrote about his belief that, when we think that we’re giving “100%,” we’re probably giving closer to 40%. For me, there were moments, during the race, when I felt myself slowing down prematurely and had to remind myself, “40%” and picked up my speed.

Also, I set landmarks to help with my pacing. Sometimes, it was as simple as running up to a traffic light, slowing down, then speeding back up at the next one. Or I would see someone, slow down to conserve my energy, then get around them. Each of these things helped with helped to incrementally increase my performance.

Last and certainly not least was my custom Amazon Music playlist. The songs were curated, so that it could help me connect with the necessary mindset to dig deep to focus on the goal of conserving my energy to maintain a good pace and not gas out at the end. There were times, when I was planning on slowing down, but a particular song would come on and I wouldn’t let myself rest yet. When I heard “Hearts on Fire,” I envisioned the training sequence in Rocky IV, where Rocky was in the barn lifting rocks, chopping wood, pressing the carriage up and climbing the mountain. When I heard AC/DC’s “Highway To Hell (Live at The River Plate Stadium),” I could hear the vibrant electricity in the soccer stadium audience (I’ve seen the video on YouTube) and I dug deep to pull from that 60% that I had in me.

The above factors contributed to these results:

  • Average pace: 12:59 mile

  • Total completion time: 42:00 minutes

  • Mile 0-1 pace: 11:19 mile

  • Mile 1-2 pace: 13:35 mile

  • Mile 2-3 pace: 14:08 mile

  • Mile 3-end: 12:46 mile

Conclusion

I wouldn’t say that I came to any groundbreaking realizations but rather reinforcements of what I already think and do: hence, no mid-life crisis. Also, completing the 5K at a better pace than my first attempt, showed me the power of intense mental focus and the untapped potential of sheer willpower. While I did have a plan that I successfully completed, I credit my willpower in the style of David Goggins as the key.

I might be 40 (as I was reminded in my 5K age category), but I feel like I’ve only started living my life. I look forward to see what I will do and where I will go. In an Inc. article “14 Inspiring People Who Found Crazy Success Later In Life,” I came across a few well known people, who found success later in life:

  • Col. Harland Sanders: after experiencing multiple professional and career “failures,” he acquired his first chicken franchise in 1952 at the age of 62. By 1962, at the age of 73, he sold his corporation for $2 million, but stayed on as a salaried spokesman.

  • Rodney Dangerfield: the comedy legend received his big break, at 46, on The Ed Sullivan Show.

  • Samuel L. Jackson: was 46, when he took his career making role as assassin, Jules Winnfield, in Pulp Fiction.

  • Ray Kroc: was 50, when he bought his first McDonald’s in 1961.

While the above examples aren’t the only definitions of success, I feel that some of my best work is ahead of me. I’m still a little sore from the 5K, but I’m blessed to still be moving. While I’m still working on my plan for what I want to do, each day I do some reflection, as well as review and edit my goals. Last and certainly not least, I dug deep on race day and know that I can do that again, whenever I can direct my will to do so.

I’M ONLY GETTING STARTED.

I Don't Wanna

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In my last piece, “You Do Have It In You,” I wrote about how I started doing daily push-ups, since early last month and about that little voice dubbed “the governor” by David Goggins in his recently published memoir, Can’t Hurt Me. I found myself facing that little voice in my quest to break my current daily record of 335.

I’m a little over a month into this daily habit and far removed from my first day of 7 push-ups. In the beginning, I broke daily records almost everyday. However, I noticed that my progress has slowed down slightly, which was bound to happen. There have been a few days, where I struggled to break 100 much less breaking 200, due to having a long day or a day full of family commitments. I’ve learned that I could max out a good set at 25 reps. Then, I’m good to go in another 20-30 minutes. It seems that the only way to have a large volume is to dedicate significant time to be able to crank them out. However, if I have a day where I’m running errands or at a family party, I can’t exactly drop down in the middle of a store or in someone’s backyard. When I looked at my push-up log, I grew frustrated and, on some days, wondered what the point was in going further for that day.

On one of those days, I was venting to my wife and she reminded me of how, even with those “few” push-ups, I still did more than someone on the couch. I realized that she was right. Looking back, I even did push-ups, during my recent East Coast trip. So, I literally haven’t missed a day since 8/4. Considering that I’ve heard that I’ve heard that it can take anywhere from 21-66 days to establish a habit and I’m 41 days into my habit, I think that it’s safe to say that this is something I will continue. This consistency alone is a tremendous victory.

Here are some of my takeaways:

  • Ignore “the governor” because it’s an idiot. A good practice is worth pursuing and there is no use in holding back effort.

  • If there’s something that I want to master, I need to dedicate time and be ready to go.

  • Any push-ups are better than 0.

  • Every day with push-ups is another day towards establishing my habit.

EACH DAY DEDICATE TO PURSUING YOUR HABIT IS ONE DAY CLOSER TO MAKING IT PERMANENT.

You Do Have It In You

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For a little over a month, I do push-ups daily: every single day since 8/4/2019. I started with 7 on my first day, 4 on the second and recently achieved a personal record of 335 over multiple sets throughout the day. I have a Google Sheets spreadsheet to track everything from my reps per set to that day’s percentage achieved of my most recent personal record. This keeps me accountable and helps me to accurately review my progress. I’m not looking at sheer numbers. I want to maintain the strictest possible form to minimize injuries, in order to increase my functional strength in a relatively low-tech, effective way. I picked the push-up specifically because of all of the muscle groups targeted with this seemingly simple movement.

"push-up" by Teecycle Tim is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

"push-up" by Teecycle Tim is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

I started doing this because I didn’t think that I had it in me. I remember gym class from K-12 and I was far from great. I wanted to prove to myself that it is never too late to start something that I previously thought as impossible. Tracking everything helps me to maintain consistency each and every day. Even if I only did 85 and 124 reps this past weekend, respectively, due to family commitments, those totals are still better than 0. At times when you don’t want to do something is precisely when you should.

For me, I feel that trying to achieve relative mastery over push-ups requires consistency, tenacity and a certain mental toughness. I need to be consistent in doing my “work,” even when I was on vacation. I feel antsy, when I don’t do my push-ups. I need to be tenacious in that I need to move past the pain of the last few reps of a set or that little mental voice in your head that imposes artificial limits, which turn out to be false, and artificially deflate your manifested potential. In David Goggins’ book, Can’t Hurt Me, he refers to this voice that holds you back as “the governor.” I want to move past the lies that this little voice tells me.

Also, I feel that this quest of doing as many push-ups as possible, while maintaining good form, and utilizing different versions to target different body parts helps me to carry certain practices over into other areas in my life. They help me to push past what I thought that I couldn’t do, do more of what I don’t feel like doing but should, and, more than anything, constantly proving myself wrong. In truth, I am the very first person that I’m trying to prove wrong. Doing all of this makes me want to be the best person that I can be and provides me some of the tools to do so.

I would invite you to start doing your own literal or figurative push-ups. Find something challenging that you can start conquering and mastering. Develop your internal craft. Then, take some of those experiences and skills and transfer them over to other areas of your life, so that you can become more mentally durable and tenacious. My hope for you, as it is for me, is that you can see that you do have it in you to accomplish what you set forth for yourself.

YOU DO HAVE IT IN YOU.

Joy (No Pain, No Gain)

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Just the other day, I was reading something that defined joy as, “the internal satisfaction we feel when we pursue well-being and success, even through great difficulty…it differs from happiness in that it can be present during difficult times.”

I thought back to some of the reading that I have done and what it has said about success and difficulty. In chapter 1 called “Thoughts Are Feelings” of Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, he told the story of a man succumbing to gold fever. He found some gold but, when he tried to locate the vein of gold that he had lost, he was unsuccessful. As the man thought that the mine was all tapped out, he sold it. The new owner contacted a mining engineer, who was able to discover that the lost vein was just three feet from where the previous owner quit. Had he continued, the previous owner would have rediscovered the vein of gold, if he had a vision for what he was doing and how he was going to do it.

For something more contemporary, I think about David Goggins’ memoir, Can’t Hurt Me. In his book, Goggins wrote about going through BUD/S training to become a Navy Seal, but then having to go through it again so that he could recover from a broken kneecap. During his second and last time attempt at BUD/S, he found out that his “shins were slivered with small fractures.” To make it through training, he made a makeshift soft cast out of duct tape and socks to provide the necessary support. If you’re wondering, why he would do that to himself: Goggins was trying to transcend some pretty serious emotional baggage from an abusive childhood and lack of self-belief by proving that he could join one of the most elite of US special forces branches. His strengthened self-belief and “calloused mind” (term that he used repeatedly in the book) is what carried him through, when men, who should have lasted, didn’t.

These are just two stories about how something good is possible only after going through something challenging or, in Goggins’ case, nearly impossible. In the case of the original mine owner, he wasn’t able to persevere and failed to achieve financial well-being and professional success in mining, even though he was only 3 ft away from finding gold again. In Goggins’ case, he was able to become a Navy Seal only after firmly anchoring his goal and letting not a broken kneecap nor multiple fractures in his shins get in the way of completing BUD/S training. Goggins found his joy, while the original mine owner fell very short.

Please don’t think that I’m saying that challenges or suffering are an absolute requirement for success. It’s not. However, with this being said, you can and will encounter challenges. When this happens, you should not back down but clearly establish your what and why so that you can be your own David Goggins and not the mine owner. If you want something bad enough, nothing short of total defeat will stop you.

As my new phone and computer screensaver says, “Stand by to get some.” So go out there and get what’s yours.

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