What About The Children?
Who Am I? (I Was Not Confused?)
Just the other day, I was digging through the content on Paramount+, while writing, and saw that I added Storytellers to My List. The episode that I saw was on Lenny Kravitz, whose song, “Are You Gonna Go My Way,” (YouTube) I love and he happened to, also, perform.
Just past 4:00 (4 minutes) into the episode, an audience member asked Kravitz if he felt that having a biracial background affected either his personal or musical development. As he spoke, I couldn’t help but pay attention to his response.
“It was incredible. It is incredible because…I know a lot of people that come from biracial situations and a lot of ‘em are confused. And a lot of us are not. I was not confused.”
I thought about how it might seem “incredible” to some that Kravitz or people like him aren’t “confused” about their “racial” identity.
“Let me tell you why some-the people I know were confused. There were light-skinned and their parents-this isn’t all cases, but this is the stuff I saw-their parents wanted their child to pass for white, right? Because they’re light-skinned and, you know, we’re better or whatever nonsense that has to do with.
And the child would, then, think, okay, well, I’m gonna run around…And, then, they go to school and they’d play that with the black kids and they’d be like ‘Uh-uh.’ Right? Then, they go over to the white kids and they’d be like, “You’re black.” So, they’d end up being in this middle like ‘Who am I? ‘What’ am I?’”
When I read this, this part made sense to me. I know that “passing” is a complicated topic that I can’t discuss here for reasons not limited to there being others better qualified than I to discuss. However, I do know that, sometimes, well-intentioned parents try to protect their kids from that moment, when someone else will tell/show their child how others see them. When it comes, I can see how their parents’ protection seems like a painful lie.
What About The Children?
Kravitz spoke further and explained one of society’s big concerns in similar situations.
“…You know, I hear people that get married…a white person and a black person. They’d always say, ‘What about the children? They’re gonna be confused.’”
When I heard the what about the children question, it immediately reminded me of a scene in the Bruce Lee biopic, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. While I’m not a fan of it, there is the (presumably fictionalized for effect) scene, where Bruce Lee talked to his future mother-in-law about getting married and she shared her concerns for her possible grandchildren.
“Let’s look at this from all angles…Let’s get down to the real issue. ..children…’What’ will they be? They won’t be white and they won’t be Oriental. They’ll be some kind of half-breed and they won’t be accepted by either side.”
Here is where Bruce responded, “They’ll be American. Linda’s American. I’m American.“
She said, “You’re an American citizen. You’re not really an American.” I haven’t seen the movie in awhile, so I don’t remember if she was aware that Bruce was very American (he was born in San Francisco). So…he was definitely more than a citizen. Even if he was a naturalized citizen, their kids would have still been American.
After he gets upset and leaves, she continued, “Yellow babies. Can you imagine that? Yellow babies…All of this will bring you pain. Listen to me. I can’t allow this. I’m sorry, but I can’t allow this.
Then, Linda answered, “It’s not up to you.”
From what I have heard from Bruce Lee documentaries and in some episodes of The Bruce Lee Podcast, it sounded like Bruce was accepted by his mother-in-law. Additionally, in the documentary, I Am Bruce Lee, family friend and daughter of one of Bruce Lee’s top student students (Dan Insosanto), Diana Lee Inosanto, herself the child of an inter-racial marriage, mentioned about how, even once that her parents’ and Bruce’s respective marriages became legal (following Loving vs. Virginia, 1967, which outlawed race-based marriage prohibitions), there were still illegal “in some people’s hearts.” While Ms. Inosanto spoke about peoples’ hearts nearly 60 years ago, sadly there are still people that themselves still feel this.
In reality, it is others that are confused. When they can’t put an individual into a category of their arbitrary creation, then, they, confuse individuals similar to Lenny Kravitz. Individuals can define themselves (if they feel it necessary) and live their lives how they wish, if others get out of their way.
What The Deal Is
Returning to Kravitz, he went on,
“There is no confusion, if you’re told straight what the deal is. My mother was Bahamian and African-American and my father is Russian Jew…I was taught that you’re half Russian Jew and half Bahamian/African-American and you need to embrace both sides because both sides are beautiful….(he named the holidays that he celebrated on both sides)…I had the whole thing..“
He concluded by saying, “The cool thing that my mother taught me-because you have to deal with society now-she said, ‘You are both of these things, but the world views you as black.’ And that was a great lesson. She told me this, when I was about six or seven years old. I know know how I took it in, then. but, at some point in my life, it clicked.
It’s like you’re this and people trip, so they’re gonna see you as that. You know? And I was fine. I was fine. It was great. You know?”
In Kravitz’ story of growing up, I feel that there’s a lot to unpack. I thought about summarizing a few of the main points:
People can acknowledge various parts of their cultural identity without any “confusion.”
In his opinion, the people that are “confused” tend to be those who are not told early on how some in society views them, until someone shows them.
While an individual could have multiple aspects to their cultural identity, some in society will focus on certain physical features to “define” them (ex. in referring to him, his mother telling him, “You are both of these things, but the world views you as black.”). The “label” that some tried to assign to him negated the other part of his background (being half Russian Jew).
It’s not the individuals that have hang-ups about race or culture, but other individuals that try to “define” them.
Individuals similar to him can know “who they are,” acknowledge the various aspects of their cultural identity with little or no confusion.
The Children Will Be Fine
For what my experience is worth, I feel that kids not unlike Lenny Kravitz, who simultaneously straddle multiple identities, will “be fine,” if they are provided with the opportunities and adequate space, while given the grace to navigate their journey how they see fit. I have known people that are “multi-racial.” I have known others that were adopted. Know what? They turned out fine. How they “turn out” really has nothing to do with others. It has to do with them.
I think about the concern that Kravitz mentioned in his anecdote (“What about the children? They’re gonna be confused.”) or what was said in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. The problem isn’t with how these individuals were born. The problem is with the sides that have their hang-ups about these individuals. There isn’t a problem until someone projects their issues onto them because they haven’t worked through them. I think that these “concerned” people are the ones that are truly confused. The concern shouldn’t be for those simultaneously navigating multiple identities. The concern should be for those that haven’t worked through their hang-ups. How about asking, “What about those people?”
I don’t personally know Kravitz, though I do love his style and his message. I suspect that, if I were to ever ask how he’s managed to navigate being both Russian Jew and Bahamian/African-American, I imagine that I would get the same response that the inquisitive audience member received.
“And I was fine. I was fine. It was great. You know?”
Yes, Lenny Kravitz, I do know. It’s unfortunate that there are so many others with their hang-ups and are tripping over what has nothing to do with them. Maybe one day, someday, they’ll be able to figure “it” out and to let others live as freely as they want to live.
THE CHILDREN WILL BE ALRIGHT.
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