So How Are You?

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Just the other day, I watched the fascinating Netflix documentary on E Street saxophonist, Clarence Clemons: Who Do You Think I Am? (Amazon Affiliate link). In it, he talked about his time in Ringo Starr’s All Star Band. The musicians in that line-up were described as alphas, strong personalities. While those individuals must have been jockeying for the limelight, Clarence went out of his way to make sure that everyone was getting along and that there was good collective energy: something that he, also, did in The E Street Band. One of his principal tactics was to ask his bandmates, “How as you doing?” This wasn't just a casual phrase said while passing by, but a deep, genuine interest in his bandmates’ well-being. In an industry, where I imagine that some people take a shallow interest in them, it must have been a dramatic contrast for Clarence to actually care about them.

Then, the other night, I, unfortunately, watched the ABC special on Prince Harry (Instagram) and his wife, Meghan Markle (Instagram). While a lot of it consisted mostly of people with no direct experience as royals offering their two cents, I did hear something that reminded me of Clarence Clemons’ empathy. There was a clip, where an ITV interviewer asked Meghan how she was doing to which she responded, “Thank you for asking. Not many people have asked, if I’m okay.” While I am sure that this was partly motivated by the presumed goal of drawing her out for a good interview, the interviewer engaging her on a human-to-human level must have been very nice. When I saw the expression on her face and concluded with her responding to the interviewer, I could only imagine how lonely she must have felt.

I realized a long time ago that it’s always welcome and timely to genuinely interact with others. When you say hi, give the other person a smile that is drawn up from the depths of your soul. When you ask someone, “How are you doing?” put the emphasis on you. Let them know that you’re truly inquiring about them and not crossing something off of your small talk checklist. With the rise of social media, it seems that many are increasingly trying to feed the charade that their lives are “okay” 24/7. Rightfully so, many people are private and don’t like putting their business out there. However, that timely comment that might not seem very much to you could mean everything to the other person with whom you are speaking.

SO HOW ARE YOU?