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Mr. Positive?

Since starting to work from home in March, our daily Microsoft Teams calls have become an integral part of staying connected. Just the other day, we went around to prop people out. One of the compliments was for me, where I was referred to as Mr. Positive due to my small part to help keep my team positive. I accepted the compliment but it, also, gave me pause.

I don’t say it all the time but being “positive” wasn’t something that came naturally. Like some, I worry a little more than I should. At other times, I try to plan ahead excessively for things that may never come or be as bad as I imagined. If people were to think of “positive,” I don’t know if these qualities would come to mind.

Making A Choice

I couldn’t tell you how or when it happened but some time ago, I made the conscious choice to make the continued effort to seek out the positive. Knowing some of my tendencies, I wanted to find tools to live a better life. Using this realization as a baseline, my life could only get better. I just had to find how.

In no particular order, here I will discuss some of my tools:

I started watching motivational videos on YouTube. I think that, in the beginning, I used them more as a type of cheerleader to push me along. Often, they were compilations of various speakers. If I figured out who spoke, then I would look for their videos or buy their books (if they had any with numerous, meaningful, favorable reviews).
Through exploring different intellectual tangents, I discovered Stoicism. In previous posts such as “How Time Slips Away,” “Make America Grateful Again” and “What Do We Have To Show For Today,” I have discussed passages from some of the classic writers showing the importance of focusing on what matters, while disregarding what doesn’t.
Something that has taken on increasing meaning for me: resilience. I recognize in mine and others’ lives how hard it is to continue, when you feel that you’re facing impossible odds. Currently, two of my favorite figures are David Goggins and Jocko Willink. In particular, lately, I’ve been stuck on a clip “Good” from Jocko Podcast. Jocko related an account where a subordinate went to him to discuss an issue. Jocko’s answer was his mantra, “Good.” Amidst the various “bad” things that could happen, there can often be something good to glean.
Faith has, also, become more important to me. While not necessary for some, for me, it is helpful because it gives me another level of thinking to reinforce the idea that things will be better. Additionally, leaving my concerns that I can’t address elsewhere helps to lighten my load.

For me, starting with combining these four elements to build a framework for developing a more positive mindset. One of the things that inspires my quest for self-improvement and my attempts to help others is a line from one of my favorite prayers,

“…we confess that we have sinned against you…
by what we have done,
and by what we have left undone.“

My point here is about what we do or don’t do. If I wake to a world that I want to better, what part can I do to get it there? By remembering where my life was before I started, I can try to share the gift of the knowledge and experience that I am (still) accumulating. I don’t expect everyone to have the same outcomes. However, I do expect that their lives could change a little for the better. I would be wrong to do nothing to help.

I Can Be Mr Positive

Through multiple blog posts written over this year that have chronicled my journey that I hope mirrors yours, I feel that it should be clear how one of my themes is living a de(liberate) life geared towards pursuing improvement.

We don’t need reminders of our daily challenges. By being positive, I’m, also, not suggesting that we live in denial. What I am suggesting is what Jocko recommended: for us to seek the good from the challenges that we face.

I just read a post in Medium, “Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted-It’s Why You Feel Awful.” Tara Haelle wrote,

“The more accustomed you are to solving problems, to getting things done, to having a routine, the harder it will be on you because none of that is possible right now. You get feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, and those aren’t good.”

Haelle continued,

“You have to accept that in your bones and be okay with this as a tough day, with ‘that’s the way it is,’ and accept that as a baseline. But that acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, he says. It means not resisting or fighting reality so that you can apply your energy elsewhere.”

I am with you with whatever challenges that you face. So when you find yourself facing your darkest, deepest days, I hope that you believe that your days will get better. Also, I hope that these words lift you up, just as those first YouTube videos did for me.

GO OUT TO SEEK THE GOOD AND BE REALISTICALLY, PRAGMATICALLY POSITIVE.

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