Nearly a week ago, I had the opportunity to speak on gratitude at church. I wanted to take some of those ideas and discuss them here.

Coming To Seek Gratitude
Before I get into this post, I feel that I need to explain something. I am not a fan of nor support “toxic positivity.” If you don’t know what this is, Psychology Today provides this definition,

“Toxic positivity hinges on a lack of awareness of negative information…”

In conclusion, toxic positivity is excessive, inappropriate positivity to the point of denying negative reality. If you’ve read some of my past posts, you may know know that I am about realistically acknowledging and overcoming our challenges. We can’t transcend is ignored.

To provide some background, for most of my earlier life, I felt filled with persistent dread and the constant need to “prepare for the worst case scenario.” I don’t know when or how, but I realized that I could excessively prepare for the worst that may be unlikely to happen or I could seek out the positives and welcome them with gratitude. This began with small steps that, eventually, became easier. Allowing myself to be controlled by dread and pessimism was no longer acceptable.

Gracias a Dios (Thanks Be To God)
Growing up, this was a quintessential Mexican phrase that I heard often in my parents’ house. If something good happened, someone said it. At the end of a meal, we similarly concluded by someone saying “Gracias a Dios."

In hindsight, I think that this came down to at least two things. First, I grew up Roman Catholic, so the idea of God’s blessings was very prominent in our household. We were taught that God gave us blessings and, consequently, it was right to give thanks, so that we may get more blessings so that we may share some to help others and improve our world.

Second, I grew up visiting some of my family in Mexico. Some were still farmers. In a very clear way, I saw how much was a direct result produced by their own hands. Yes, there were goods and supplies that they bought, but there was corn grown on their land and animals that were raised. If you didn’t work, you didn’t eat. I could imagine how the reasons to be grateful were obvious.

From my background and perspective, it made sense why I heard many around me say Gracias a Dios. My family worked very hard to live, prosper and to comfortably bring us to the present moment.

How Hard You Get Hit & Keep Moving Forward
Maybe I’m prejudiced, but one of the reason that I love the Rocky movies is because of the numerous nuggets of knowledge sprinkled throughout the series.

One of the scenes is from Rocky Balboa. Early in the movie, Rocky’s son, Robert, visits him at his restaurant and they have an intense “heart-to-heart,” where Robert was somewhat bitter about being “Rocky’s kid.”

Here is a good passage discussing life’s inevitable challenges,

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are. It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it…But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward...”

My memory’s a little fuzzy about the movie’s plot, but I remember that, at this point, Robert was aware about Rocky coming out of retirement to fight Mason “The Line” Dixon. As you could imagine, there was a lot of buzz around this fight. More importantly, Robert felt that it was yet another occasion when Rocky overshadowed him. If he couldn’t handle being “overshadowed,” then would he handle a truly substantial obstacle?

Then, there’s a little bit after this that really summarizes Rocky’s message,

“Now, if you know what you’re worth, then, go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”

In no particular order, I’d like to unpack the messages in Rocky’s monologue.

“It’s a very mean and nasty place…It will beat you to your knees…if you let it”: There is so much in this world that won’t go our way and good things won’t happen when we wish. When we keep hoping for these unrealistic “what ifs,” we will be crushed by these “failures.” They become a trap. Rocky even warned about this becoming a permanent, if we don’t free ourselves.
“…you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody!”: Rocky didn’t just tell Robert about about how there would be challenges and ones that are inevitable. He, also, told him that, when things didn’t go his way, not to put to blame others. Unless there were people actively sabotaging Robert, blaming others, even his own father, wouldn’t accomplish anything. It changes nothing.
“It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward…”: It’s more than just acknowledging circumstances without blaming others. Most importantly, WE NEED TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD! Taking action to change our circumstances is the only thing that will change them.
“You’re better than that!”: This is one of the hardest things, when we’re stuck in this cycle of denial and blame. Those of us that are trapped are unable to believe that we’re “good enough” to deserve a different, better way. We don’t think that we’re capable. In that situation, we may think that “taking action” means blaming others. However, I have to say again: BLAMING OTHERS CHANGES NOTHING! Not only is Robert “better than that,” but so are we, if we can only see and believe it.

Getting Ready For Better Things
So let’s imagine that Robert was able to acknowledge the bad circumstances and move past them because he believed that he was good enough to deserve something better, don’t you think that, as Rocky’s son, he would have been grateful for those better things? I’m pretty sure that he would be. I’ve seen the movies. Rocky started at the bottom, literally fought hard to acquire considerable financial comfort for his family, lost it, then ended up living comfortably and arriving to that point of Rocky Balboa. I don’t remember that Rocky blamed his accountant for cleaning him out, though I remember that Adrian was irate (Rocky V). Rocky knew what the bottom was like and didn’t fear it. He could only bring himself up, which he did (reopening Mickey’s gym in Rocky V and running his restaurant, Adrian’s (Rocky Balboa).

As Rocky said, the world is “a mean and nasty place.” During the course of my life, I have had my share of setbacks. Shoot, back in June, I had six inches of water in my basement. I told the story in “Home Is Where Your Bed Is” (Medium link) about the mean and nasty experience of having to temporarily vacate my home. During those moments that included having to temporarily bring up buckets of dirty water to throw out or cleaning out my basement or finding the money to address the outstanding issues, ASSIGNING BLAME WOULD HAVE CHANGED NOTHING. I want you to really think about these words.

I have no more idea than you of what the future holds for us. As you can imagine, I know this all too well. The world can really suck but it can, also, be very beautiful. Even, during the most challenging moments such as the flood for me, we need to acknowledge these moments and fight the hardest for what we deserve. Most importantly, we need to focus on what is our responsibility and address each and every one. If we consistently repeat this process and, hopefully, get better at it, we can face these circumstances with the courage that is deep inside each of us. Most importantly, when we do get those breaks in life, let’s take a few moments to say gracias a Dios, to give thanks.

LET’S GIVE THANKS AND SHARE WITH OTHERS, WHEN WE GET WHAT WE DESERVE AND HAVE EARNED.

Be sure to follow me at The Jose Rodriguez (Facebook), The Jose Rodriguez (Twitter) or The Jose Rodriguez (Instagram).

Also, if you know someone that would enjoy or benefit from reading this post or others, please share with them.