I read a post on Facebook about banning the use of phones in schools by students, various school policies regarding phone use and one student admitting that they probably use their phone too much. I’m not at all surprised. This past summer, when I was at the city pool watching my son swim, I saw some girl in the pool holding her smartphone. When I saw this, I thought to myself, “I’m pretty sure that this girl didn’t pay for her phone” and “What is so important that she needs her phone in the pool?”

I can’t be too hard on her because I have to believe that the girl in question took her cues from what she’s seen. She’s emulating behavior that she believes is acceptable. This girl has come to believe that something is wrong with her world, if she’s not checking into her social media, texts, etc. What has happened, since she’s last checked in. It is that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). This is more important than truly being a part of a given moment.

I saw this excessive attachment to phones, when I used to take the elevators at work, before I started using the stairs more. Almost immediately, the phones would come out. I get it. Some people would suggest, “Maybe, they’re trying to avoid silence or awkward conversation?” Ok, I’ll accept this. However, I would say that a lot of the elevator rides were about 30 seconds, 1 minute at most. It wasn’t that long of a wait. Also, if they didn’t want to talk to anybody, then they could stare at the door or look up. I used to do this, when I didn’t want to talk to anybody. However, I’ve, also, talked to a few random people but it was always briefly. When I have casually glanced at fellow passengers’ phones, they often have something like Facebook or Candy Crush on. Really?

A huge book in changing my perspective on people (including me) and their technology is the book, Bored and Brilliant by Manoush Zomorodi, which grew out of an experiment on a WNYC’s Note To Self. My essential takeaway was in constantly asking the question, “Am I using my technology in an intentional, purposeful way or is it using me?” With that last phrase “or is it using me,” I think of a clip of a Denzel Washington speech that I saw on YouTube. While I listened to the original Note To Self podcast episodes long before I read the book, it took my recent East Coast trip for me to flip that switch to control my smartphone and not the other way around.

Don’t get it twisted. This isn’t about criticism as it’s more about calling attention. When I write about what I saw regarding phone use vs. how I wish that it could be, I’m not writing to you, as I’m also writing to myself. When I wake up early to get a head start on the day and get some “me time,” I do, sometimes, succumb to the temptation to putz around on my phone for an hour, when I could have taken a shower and done something productive like working on this blog, reading or some other productive activity during that wasted hour that I’ll never recover.

Our time is more valuable than this and we deserve more than pulling out our phones because we’re “bored.” We’re called to do something more important than this. If you’re worried about missing out, you might just be correct but not about what you think.

PROVE YOURSELF WRONG.

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