My Initial Thoughts On Meditation

For a long time, I resisted meditation. Frankly, I’m not sure why. I imagined complicated rituals. I couldn’t see myself repeatedly chanting Om (Amazon Affiliate link), while sitting in a lotus position. I had images of trying to focus on my breath to quiet my “monkey mind” only for my concentration to break, look at the time and, try to start over. I used to think these things, until I actually started meditating.

Just Breathe

I should start at the beginning. First, I study the habits of “successful” people, since I want to get ideas on how to do better for myself. Some are very well known, while others not so much. I have listened to YouTube videos and have read articles, where they discuss their practices. From people going back to Steve Jobs (Amazon Affiliate link) and up to present-day people, many mention having some meditation (Amazon Affiliate link) or mindfulness practice. I like patterns because they indicate where to focus my attention. After all, “where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

Also, I realized awhile back that I have anxious tendencies. While I know people worse off that can’t stop imagining an infinite number of worst case scenarios, my tendencies are just bad enough that I can be prone to second guessing decisions and actions. At times, I don’t know that I have any anxiety running in the background, until I start to physically feel it.

I Was FINALLY Ready For A Change

In reviewing my meditation notes, I started meditating around 2/9/20, so it’s been almost a month. For the most part, I keep my process simple. Slowly, I breathe in deep and hold that breath for about 5-10 seconds. Then, I control my exhalation, until I am empty and pause for a few seconds before repeating. That’s pretty much it.

In the beginning, I would average around 5-7 minutes/session. My initial focus was on fundamentals: consistently following my process. In time, I bumped it up to about 10-14 minutes on a good meditation session. With much focus, my longest session lasted 42 minutes. Most importantly, I realized that I can’t meditate, in the evening, while my family is active. It seems that I meditate best very early in the morning, when everyone else is asleep. At times, I am able to meditate multiple times (albeit brief sessions): the first is to warm up, while I’m able to focus more deeply in the subsequent ones. This doesn’t mean anything other than meditating multiple times and this works for me.

So Far, So Good

I definitely enjoy myself better, after starting meditation. I feel like my focus has improved and is more sustainable for longer periods. This comes in handy at work and with writing. While I’m unable able to meditate at work in the building that I am currently in, I feel that even a 5-6 minute session can be an excellent pick-me-up. However, even with the pretty regular sessions at home, I still feel the residual effects.

In one of my best sessions, where I had no preconceived expectations, I felt some of the deepest calm and focus ever. I felt warm pulsing on the outside of my head. While my eyes were closed, I could see a form that slowly contracted. It’s hard to explain but, at the same time, it felt like my ego melting. By this, I mean that I wasn’t forcing anything to happen in the meditation. I went along with the process and let things organically unfold.

At times, while meditating, I felt a sensation of detachedly looking down. At those moments, I feel closer to understanding how ego (my ego) is limited. I am not the most important thing and there are things that are bigger than me. Reflecting on this is not only humbling, but, also liberating. I think about how the effort to try to make everything happen, when we want it to happen is staggeringly weighty. Without a question, it is so much easier to “let” things happen in their time and to let ourselves be.

To quote Bruce Lee in Enter The Dragon (Amazon Affiliate link),

“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle…Become like water my friend.“

A New Beginning

The way that things are progressing, I think that I will keep meditating. First, even if I only meditate for about 5-7 minutes, it puts a little figurative gas in my tank. Besides drinking black coffee with a bit of added unsweetened cocoa, this is a new, energizing tool in my arsenal. Second, by using the regular practice of controlling my breathing during meditation, I have the long-term effect of considerable physical relaxation. With anxiety, there is the loop of shallow breathing contributing to physical stress unconsciously induced by mental stress. This emphasis on breathing helps to break this pattern. Third, there is the benefit of more easily looking at things in a detached manner that helps to nurture contentment and, for me, gratitude. Fourth, the decreased anxiety has freed up my creativity. After this post, I have about 11 ideas in the pipeline. Whenever an idea comes up, I use the Squarespace app to open a draft, where I write a title, a few lines for an idea, quote, etc. Afterwards, I can return to grow that seed of an idea into a full post. This post was one of the first that came from this new creative process.

As with a lot that I have written in this blog, I don’t tell you what to do. I present and leave you to arrive at your own decisions. I have tried meditation and it works well for me. I have described what has happened and described the benefits. The same things in the same way may not happen for you and this is okay. However, I am confident that, when you get into the process, even a quick 5-7 minute session here and there would give you considerable long-term benefits. As much as we may rush in our daily lives, it is great, when we can find something that forces us to slow down (physically and mentally) and to have some alone time to reconnect.

BREATHE IN. HOLD. EXHALE. REPEAT. ENJOY.

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